Operation Embarrass The Fucking Shit Out Of Myself: ACCOMPLISHED!

I have to take a bunch of things to the post office to mail, so grab one of my larger purses I haven't used in a while and take off. On the way home I decide to get some BBQ stuff at the grocery store so I stop there and pick out some hot dogs, chips, avocados, lemonade and ketchup. I choose the 20-items-or-less line where a youngish guy is working, zipping people's groceries across the scanner.

When it's time for me to pay I start rummaging around my bag for my wallet. It's somewhere at the bottom of this huge purse I haven't used in months, and while I'm fishing for it I accidentally FLING a TAMPON at the cashier. In slow motion I watch it fly from my purse and smack him in the neck all while he braces for it like a fastball coming toward him and actually tries to bat it away.

I'm so completely embarrassed and the only thing that comes to mind to say is, "I'm SO SORRY, I don't even know why it's in there, I'm not even on my period!" As I try to explain that it was an old purse, hadn't used it in years, etc etc, he hands the tampon back to me saying, "Uh, do you want this back?"

I say, "NO! No, I don't need it, really, just throw it away!"

He says, "Uh, are you sure? I mean, here. You can have it back."

The line of people with 20 items or less is just standing there staring at me while I decide whether or not I want my tampon missile back. I tell him, "Just throw it away," and he complies, then spends the next 20 seconds searching around his cashier stand for a trash can. When he can't find one, he rests the tampon atop his cash register as one would a pencil on a keyboard where it sits while he rings up my total.

As I grab my bag and leave, I see the woman next in line tell the cashier to give her the tampon, then she shoves it in her purse, giggling.